December 21, 2002

• I had lunch with MaryLu yesterday. It was a fairly short lunch by our usual standards – only about 6 hours. Lunch with MaryLu is always a special occasion.
  
  We have been friends since 1974. I met her when I hired her to work for me when I was a head nurse way back then. We became friends, and then eventually we got our husbands involved. We have had many conversations over the years about how difficult it is to find good “couple friends,” you know, couples where everyone likes everyone else. My husband and I are lucky, because we have many “couple friends,” but MaryLu and her husband are probably our closest.
  
  When we were younger, MaryLu’s husband used to joke that he and my husband could switch wives and nobody would ever know. We do not really look alike, but we have very similar tastes. An example of this occurred yesterday. We showed up for lunch wearing matching outfits – off white pants and blue shirts. What do you think the odds are that two people would both wear white pants in the winter? Not very high, I would say. This has happened to us many times over the years. Once the ensembles even included identical shoes!
  
  We have great conversations over lunch. They are usually pretty long. Several years ago, a waiter came and vacuumed under our table while we were sitting there. We asked him if he would like us to leave, and he pointed out that the restaurant had been closed for half an hour!
  
  After we left that restaurant, we went to a nearby Target and sat in the snack bar drinking Diet Coke. We saw the shift change twice while we sat there.
  
  Another time, we ordered a bottle of wine with lunch. We sat, sipped wine, and talked. About 4:00 in the afternoon, MaryLu looked at me and said, “Did we remember to eat?” Oops! We forgot that lunch is supposed to include food!
  
  Often, our lunch excursions include long walks. Both of us like to walk for exercise, and walking seems conducive to talking, too. Yesterday, we met at a mall, so we walked through the mall several times and did some shopping. We ate at a Chinese restaurant and then wandered into a department store that has a piano player and some couches and chairs for those who want to sit and listen. We sat and talked there for awhile, and then headed to Target for some Diet Coke.
  
  I had a lot to talk about yesterday. We have good timing. It seems that only one of us is loaded down with heartache and problems at a time, so the other can be the listener. We have spent a lot of hours listening to each other over the years. It helps. I probably know more about MaryLu than I know about any other person except maybe my husband. I know that she will never betray my confidence, and that is a very good feeling.
  
  We have been through a lot together – the deaths of our parents and our spouses’ parents, raising our kids, weddings, grandchildren, job and family problems, the death of her niece at about three months of age, the death of her brother, and the Gulf War which was difficult for her because she is a VietNam vet. We can share all of these things because we know that the other person will listen nonjudgmentally, try to understand, and will not give unwanted advice. It’s a wonderful feeling. I treasure my friendship with MaryLu!
  
  

  

  • 10:23 pm
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