October 21, 2005
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Simone_de_Beauvoir has challenged readers to write about the definition of beauty.
I think what is considered beautiful depends on what is being discussed. Certainly, there is a difference between a beautiful animal, a beautiful day, and a beautiful painting. All of those are subjective concepts and the definitions would vary considerably. A beautiful day would vary with the season, also. In Minnesota in January, 15 degrees might be a lovely day, especially if it was crisp and sunny. That would definitely not be true in July!
With so many possible types of beauty from which to choose, obviously it is necessary to narrow the topic. I choose to write about what I think makes a person beautiful.
If you have not heard the old cliche’ “Beauty is only skin deep,” I am kind of wondering where you have been hibernating. Even the topic of physical beauty is so large that it is not practical for a blog discussion because the picture of physical beauty varies with culture, age, and individual. For me, it is easier to go beneath the skin to identify beauty.
I think a person is beautiful if he/she has the skill of really focusing and listening when others talk. It seems to me that not many people do that these days. I don’t know if the “me” generation really exists, because this phenomenon seems to exist across all age groups with many people today being so turned inward that they are barely aware of anyone else, let alone able to really attend to them. It is a wonderful experience to talk to someone who is really in the moment with you, listening and attempting to understand what you mean and how you feel. It’s beautiful!
Beauty is also being there when a friend needs you, not just if it is convenient, but being someone who can be depended upon to share the important events of life. Someone who admires your newborn and helps to bury your dead. Someone who will hem a skirt for you, fix his/her specialty dish for your party (and share the recipe), and wipe your kids’ runny noses. A beautiful person laughs uproariously with you and holds you while you cry. He/she also knows when each of those is appropriate.
A beautiful person is generous. Not financially or materially generous, but generous of spirit. He/she gives of self, whether it is a cup of coffee or a hug. He/she shares his/her personality, thoughts, and ideas with you so that you have the privilege of knowing him/her better. He/she also appreciates knowing you. He/she does not indulge in jealousy, which is destructive. Rather, a beautiful person rejoices with you in your good fortune, understands that all relationships are not the same, doesn’t worry about his/her position in your life, but is secure that it is as it should be.
A beautiful person also loves him/herself and can set limits on others so that his/her integrity is protected and respected, is aware of his/her own needs and sees that they are met. He/she is comfortable with him/herself and able to keep him/herself whole.
I don’t think anyone is beautiful all the time. Most of us can only hope for sometimes. We can try to make those times more frequent. Life is better when they are.
How many beautiful people do you know?
Comments (27)
I think that is a great definition (listening, good friend, generous, etc.). I know a lot of BEAUTIFUL people. GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“In Minnesota in January, 15 degrees might be a lovely day, especially if it was crisp and sunny. That would definitely not be true in July!” Oh so very true! I’m in North Dakota so boy can I relate.
Nance.. you asked a question. How many beautiful people do I know? I consider myself fortunate in that I know quite a few people who are as you discribed above and I, even though I don’t know you, think you are a very beautiful person too! Not many show themselves when they write. You do. This was very heartfelt.
I loved this entry! I found you because you left a comment on mine (Which I agree with what you said totally by the way) and wow, your perspective is very intimate and personal if those are the right words. Lovely post, lovely expressions of your thoughts on it and yes I too found the scope to be much larger than I initially envisioned when I first began writing mine. We learned didn’t we! I know I did, a lot! Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts!
~Namaste,
T.L.
Well said!
It’s good to have your presence this week at Socrates Cafe. I hope you enjoy the forum and decide to stay a while. If you do, please take a moment to read the Intro and FAQ and don’t forget to sub to Socrates Cafe ring. You’re all linked up, but I’ll have to come back and read later. Don’t forget to peruse the other posts on Beauty. We’ve had some very interesting posts on the subject. Simone
I LOVED your post. So true….I am fortunate to have many “beautiful” people in my life…thank you for such an insightful post.
You are the second person this week that has talked about beauty within. I could not put it any better
A good definition! Thank you.
Hi Nancy-
Thank you for stopping by. I agree with that animals should be treated with respect. I wrote a second part to the post you commented on.
Check it out.
I liked your post on beauty, especially the last revelations that your wrote. No one can be beautiful all the time. I think that people forget that a lot of times.
-Colin
“I don’t think anyone is beautiful all the time. Most of us can only hope for sometimes. We can try to make those times more frequent. Life is better when they are.” This observation is quite important to me..we expect much of ourselves ,and others and it is important to be patient with ourselves. I agree with you
about beautful people. RYC..its sad isn’t it? Mia Lucia
I think that way well written and so true. Ryc: I do think it’s kind of a depressing topic, reading everyones worst moments is bringing my weekend down! Have a good one.
*I think that is well written….. sorry, typo
In answer to your last question, you’re definitely one.
My favorite aphorism concerning beauty — which I mentioned at a comment somewhere else — is this: “A pretty woman is one you notice. A beautiful woman is one who notices you.” Note the similarity between this and your fifth paragraph.
RYC: I cheated and did not talk about my really really worst experiences, for the same reason that you passed on this topic. I chose to write about an experience that didn’t cause me pain in the act of remembering it.
Oops, I forgot I was signed in as blip32962. I’m also Twoberry, just in case you were wondering.
Per the student who stayed in school … yes, that would be another example roughly in the arena of harmony. It is a very good example, though, because it is outside the physical senses. The beauty of “events” is under studied. Here it is the poets/prose-writers that take the place of the “lighting engineers” of visual art. Per Proust … the description of all such events can be highlightes, the beauty brought forth. Had the student decided to go pursue something else entirely, that too might have been beuatiful … though the “staying in school” stories has more obviously highlightable features.
Very nice.
Interesting perspective…it was actually nice for me to see it narrowed down to one area of beauty & the one perhaps most oft neglected…but is it really beauty to be a good person?
My mom would fall under your criterea of a beautiful person & my grandmother…don’t know that I could name many more that are on a consistant basis…
Thanks for your comment on animal rights!! Looking forward to many good discussions with you!
Nance! I love your post, its beautiful in itself.
You ask a good question, ‘ how many beautiful people do you know’? As for the qualities you listed a few.
Many are Xanga friends. A few here, it sems alot of the people I know here do not hear what I say, they are too busy going on about their troubles,and I dont mind listening , yet , when I try to add , its still yak ayk me , me .
I do have a few beautiful freinfs though!
Great insights on beauty on every person bog who has discussed it.
Peace and Love:)
What you describe , Nancy , looks like LOVE . Loving , caring , listening to , helping make the beauty . Beauty may be seen in people ‘ s vibrant eyes .
Love
Michel
Lovely, beautiful entry… thank you for sharing it with us. I absolutely love it.
great post have a nice day
Hi again , wow some horrible typos, bogs and frienfs ,, whoa, sorry, Nance.
Happy weekend.
RYC: Thanks for dropping by. Your last sentence in the comment you left me points out that one of the matters in philosophy is that one must refer to other philosophers when constructing an argument based on morality. I think this is necessary. I think it is very dangerous to rely solely on one’s own interpretation of the world. We must accept a moral view based on a collectively agreed upon reality. This happens in religions but without empirical proof and therefore philosophy is the only way of coming to terms with having to construct a set of morals.
I will definitely look at your write-up on beauty later this evening and will comment. Thank you for your feedback!
I remember having to write an essay on beauty when I was in high school. You did such a better job than I remember doing. Your essay was beautiful! I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder; some people have trouble finding beauty because they don’t see. Others see beauty in a smile, the glint of someone’s eyes, or the gardening chores under a clear blue sky. A very nice post!!!!
The Navajhos have a phrase:” May You Always Walk in Beauty”, which, when you think about it, is a really neat idea.
Well, you are a number one “beautiful person”. I have the fortune to know many beautiful people. There are many more waiting for me on the other side!
I liked what you wrote there. Solid post. And, thank you for your comment on my site. You said, “And what makes life worth living.” or something like that (talking about beauty). And, I must say, I wholeheartedly agree. Hope all is well and good by you, take care.
~Zach
Hey, thank you for stopping by my site again. I completely understand and respect that you disagree with my post on “What Is An Excellent Death?” But, if you have the time, could you please tell me what it is that you so strongly disagree with? I’m not offended nor am I looking for a fight – just a good conversation.
~Zach
bookmarked!!, I like your web site!