Saturday afternoon, we had planned to go in and stay with our daughter’s children while our daughter and son-in-law attended a wedding in his family.  The plan had originally been to go out on our son’s boat with our son and his children, cook out, and stop off at a park to let the kids play.  Unfortunately, one of our son’s kids was sick, so we had a last minute change of plans.

Our daughter’s children were disappointed about missing the boat ride and her son was very disappointed not to be spending the evening with his cousins.  We decided to take the kids to Culver’s for supper and then to go bowling as a substitute for the boat ride.

It was a beautiful evening following a week of sub-normal temperatures, so we decided to eat outside at Culver’s,  Here is Ryan at the table.

 
We were actually pretty impressed the the kids’ meals that Culver’s offers.  We don’t eat very much fast food, but Dan and I were able to feed ourselves and 3 kids for about $25, which we thought was pretty good.

Our daughter has 2 children, Madison and Ryan.  Madison’s best friend, Maddie (short for Madison), was the third member of the crew.  Maddie, frequently joins us on family events, including family vacations.  We refer to her as our adopted granddaughter.  Here are Madison and Maddie at the table.  Madison is on the left.  I think I caught her off-guard.

After supper, we went bowling.  We don’t bowl very often.  In fact, I have probably been bowling less than 20 times in my whole life, so I am not very good.  Bowling alleys have changed quite a bit since we took our kids bowling when they were growing up.  They now have what is basically a casino for kids where the kids can play games to win points which can be exchanged for prizes.  I think that is the main event for the kids.  For us, the main event is bowling, so that’s what I choose to capture in photos.

Here is Ryan.  His score zoomed ahead of mine right away.

Here’s Madison throwing a ball.  I noticed that the kids’ balls tended to bounce a little.  I didn’t think they were supposed to do that.  The kids all had bumpers that prevented their balls from going into the gutter.  Do you think that is why they all beat me?  Next time, I want bumpers!

Madison looks pretty satisfied with that ball, don’t you think?

Maddie bowled last.  She is a pretty good bowler!

We had a good time with the kids!  Somw of the pics aren’t the best.  The lighting in there was not great for photography!

Are you anyone’s “Responsible Party”?  Maybe you use the term “Power of Attorney”?  It means the same thing.  You are legally entitled to make decisions for someone else.

Tomorrow  morning, Dan and I will get up and drive 2 1/2 hours to attend the care conference for his elderly aunt.  Dan is her Responsible Party.  It’s a responsibility we take very seriously.  When I was thinking about writing this blog, my first thought was that we have to make that drive tomorrow.  That’s not true though.  We don’t have to go.  The nursing home would arrange a conference call so that we could participate in the care conference from the comfort of home.  We want to go.  We feel that we need to go.  It’s important for many reasons.

It is very easy for us to get involved in the busyness of our own lives and put off getting down to see Irene.  Attending her care conferences guarantees that we visit her at least every three months.  When it is a 2 1/2 hour drive each way, it is really easy to tell ourselves that we don’t have time to go, and before too long, we haven’t seen her for 6 months or a year.  That’s not a good thing.  Irene needs to know that her family cares about her.  She needs to feel that we are interested in her life.  She needs to know that she matters.

The nursing home also needs to know that Irene matters.  I think that they are very good to her and they do take care of her physical needs.  They think that she is confused.  Irene has always had a unique orientation to life and the world around her.  She is not confused.  She knows who she is, where she is, what season it is, and who the people around her are.  She is aware of the events in the community and the world if they matter to her.  She does repeat herself quite frequently,  and she does have that unique view of the world that can be misinterpreted if you don’t know her.  She has always had a rather selective memory that is getting much more selective.  I get a little aggravated when the staff speaks to her as if she is a child because they think that she does not always understand what is going on, though.  She is not a child and she most certainly does understand what she wants to understand.  It’s important for us to show up and ask questions.  It’s also important to pay attention to how Irene looks and how her room looks.  I think she looks a little better because we do that.

We usually take Irene out when we go down to see her.  In my opinion, one of the reasons that she repeats herself so much is that she just does not have much to think about.  Nursing home residents are usually very debilitated.  Many of them are not capable of coherent conversation, so there is not a lot of mental stimulation going on there.  Irene does have many friends who visit her faithfully, but when they are not there, there is really not much to occupy her thoughts.  Taking her out to lunch gets her out into the community.  Many times, she sees people she knows.  One of her favorite parts of going out is getting to look at the sky.  Her roommate has the window side of the room and keeps the curtains between them drawn, so Irene does not get to see the sky very often.  It’s nice if it’s sunny, but she doesn’t really care if it’s not.  She just likes to know that the sky is still up there!

Care conferences are always on weekdays.  Between conferences, we try to get down on weekends so that we can take Irene to Mass.  They do have Mass at the nursing home, but it is not on the weekend and not in a church.  Irene is very religious and she enjoys being able to go to a real church and be part of the congregation.  That’s another place where she almost always sees people that she knows, too.  We go to Saturday evening Mass, which is the Mass that Irene always attended.  Unfortunately, it is not in her home parish.  Her pastor now serves 3 parishes, and the Saturday evening service is always in one of the other two churches.   It’s a church, though, and it’s Irene’s pastor.

We always try to do a little decorating in Irene’s room when we are there, too.  She loves all holidays and always decorated her house for even the smallest one.  We kept her decorations, and when we go to see her, we put up the ones that are appropriate for that season.  She enjoys having people compliment her on her room.  She likes to tell the stories that go with the different decorative items.  She tells people who does the decorating, too!

Yes, tomorrow, we will get up and drive 2 1/2 hours to attend a 20 minute meeting.  It’s important.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there!  I hope that you are having a wonderful Mother’s Day.

We celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday.  As I said in my pulse, this is birthday month in our family, so the month gets very complicated.  Our granddaughter Madison is also in competitive dance, which makes the schedule even more complicated during May.  Yesterday, she danced at RiverCenter in St. Paul.  She did quite well, too.  Her production number received a platinum award and her other 4 dances all received high gold.

We went in and watched Madison dance.   When she was finished, our whole family went out to eat.  Madison’s birthday was May 6, so when we got to the restaurant, we celebrated her birthday before we ate.  Then, when we were finished with our meal, we celebrated Mother’s Day a day early.  That gives our kids a chance to spend time with their spouses’ mothers today.  In our family, we think that the important thing is to get together and celebrate the occasion, not the day that we actually have the celebration.  All birthdays and holidays are movable feasts.

At church this morning, there was an interesting insert about Mother’s day in the bulletin.  It seems that Mother’s Day was originally started in 1870 as a women’s protest movement following the Civil War.  Mothers who had lost their sons in the war wanted to promote peace and an end to war.  The movement was lead by Julia Ward Howe, a woman from Boston and the writer of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

The insert also contained a piece of writing by Ruth Rosen, a Professor of History at UC  Davis.  Her point was that while it is a lovely thing to send flowers or buy gifts for our mothers on Mother’s Day, it would also be  a wonderful thing to think of the women who need child care, training for employment, health care, better pay, and paid parental leave.  She would like to see Mother’s Day restored as a day that celebrates women’s political engagement in society and strives to lessen our culture’s indifference toward human welfare and the health of our planet.  Ms. Rosen would like to see Mother’s Day filled with women’s voices raised in demand of social and economic justice and a sustainable future.

I don’t think that is a bad idea!  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the mother’s of the world could make it a better place?

I am not a gardener.  It’s something I have never enjoyed.  I do like to be outside.  I like to go for walks or hikes and I like to ride bicycles.  I have just never really developed an interest in digging in the ground, and for many years now, I have had back problems which make it difficult.

Dan, on the other hand, loves to putter in the yard.  He has all kind of flowers and plants, plus he seems to be starting a little mini-forest in the back yard.  I always say that if Dan were not there to take care of the yard, I would just pour cement over it and paint it green.

Thanks to Dan, we have lovely lilacs that are blooming now.  They are at the corner of the house.

The flowers are beautiful.  I also love the way they smell.  At this time of year, I really enjoy going for a walk and smelling all of our neighbor’s lilacs.  It seems like the whole town is perfumed!

What is your favorite spring time smell?

Here is Dan with his new car. Isn’t it a pretty color?   We are now a two Hyundai family. 

Don’t they look cute sitting in the garage together?  Of course, mine is 8 years old and not nearly so fancy, but I like it.

We are hoping to eventually need only 1 car, but we are not there yet.  We sold Dan’s Subaru and have had only one vehicle for the past three weeks.  To give you an example of why that is a problem, I will tell you about Wednesday of last week.

I was subbing in the senior high school, which is in Arlington, the town where we live.  Dan is the advisor for the Leo Club in the junior high where he used to teach..  It is in Gaylord,  a town about 8 miles away.  Dan had a meeting with the Leos during the second hour of the school day.

I had to get up and take him over there early enough that I could get back in time to sub.  Ordinarily, I could walk to school and would not need the car, but on Wednesdays, I work in the Targeted Services program in the junior high immediately after school,  so I needed the car to get there at the end of the school day.

Because we were working with one car, Dan was three hours early for his meeting, so he had a lot of time to kill at the school.  After the meeting, he had another couple of hours before he took the Leos out to clean ditches along the highway.  The area they clean starts about halfway between Gaylord and Arlington.  A school bus takes them to the starting point and they clean towards Arlington and then walk over to the high school to take a school bus back to Gaylord after school.  Normally, Dan would take the bus back to Gaylord with the students, pick up his car, and head home.  However, since I had to be at Targeted Services as quickly as possible after school, the car needed to be in Arlington at the end of the school day, so Dan  met me at the car so he could drive me over to Gaylord for Targeted Services.  He needed to drive me over because he needed the car to get back to Gaylord at 5:00 for our GED class.

Needless to say, we were tired of trying to juggle our lives with only one car!

By the way, Targeted Services is a program for kids who have the ability to succeed in school but are not doing well.  I work with three other teachers.  We help supervise them doing their homework and help them as needed.   The students stay with us for two hours after school.