That's a very broad question. To some extent, the response would have to depend on what is meant by suicide. In all contexts, the response would be heavily influenced by the respondent's value of life, which is, in turn, determined by his/her religious, moral, and cultural values.

I come from a background of Judeo-Christian tradition which teaches me that suicide is morally wrong. I also am an RN with an interest in psychology and, since much of my professional life has been spent teaching, over the years, I have taught many classes which involved discussion of suicide. My nursing background tells me that to deliberately end life is not the goal of health care. My interest in psychology has taught me that suicide is a very sad event that does great damage to the people left behind. So where along the spectrum of belief does all of that leave me?

Even though my religion teaches me that suicide is morally wrong, I cannot condemn people who commit suicide. To me, suicide is a desperate act. I do not think that a person who has never come to the brink of suicide can understand why someone would make that choice. I feel that it is very sad that someone does not get the help and support that they need to help them cope with life so that they do not have to make such a decision. Unfortunately, some people are not able to cope even with help. If those people choose suicide, they leave behind friends and loved ones who often must struggle with guilt as they seek answers to the question of whether something they said or did not say could have made a difference. In any case, such a suicide is a very sorrowful event.

Suicide that springs from personal despair is not the only kind of suicide, though. Today, there is a movement to allow physician assisted suicide for terminally ill people. I have a hard time with that. I think that sometimes health care providers seek to prolong life when in reality all they are doing is prolonging death and I do not think that that is responsible health care, but I do have trouble thinking of doctors and nurses actually providing the means to end life. On the other hand, I am not a terminally ill person in severe pain or in terrible fear of severe pain. I have had the experience of caring for my mother in my home during the last 2 years of her battle with cancer. While I would not have wanted to do anything to make her life end earlier, I certainly do know what a strain that was for me and for my family. I know how long it took us to recover our lives. I also know how much my mother suffered and by the time she died, all of us were very ready for it to be over. I am not sure that I would have the strength to go through what she went through. I don't know how I would handle that situation and I really hope that I never find out. I would not condemn a person who chose to end their suffering.

There is a type of suicide that I cannot comprehend at all, and that is the action taken by suicide bombers. I understand that they are dying for a cause and that they believe that the cause justifies the death. I do not come from a background that can accept that, however, and I cannot wrap my mind around it at all.

So, in my opinion, suicide is a very complicated topic. There are many kinds of suicide. People who take their own lives have many reasons. I don't think that suicide is desirable, but I do think that each person is ultimately responsible for his/her own life. None of us really knows and understands what another person faces. We just all have to hope that we will be able to handle the challenges that life presents. There are no quick and easy answers to this very difficult question.

The picture above is one of my favorite Christmas presents.  That's our son Andy on the left and our son-in-law Matt on the right.  The lovely ladies are our daughter-in-law Jess on the left and our daughter Betsy on the right.  The kids are Andy and Jess's son Jake, Betsy and Matt's daughter Madison their son Ryan.  The color is a little off on the picture for some reason, but they are a lovely group, don't you think?

Here are the kids in front of the tree with their stuffed animals.  This was at the end of the night and everyone was tired and in their jammies.  From Left to right, it's Jake, Madison, and Ryan.

This is Matt helping assemble one of Ryan's gifts.

Here's Jake with his new hard hat.  Jake loves anything to do with construction.

Madison likes crafts.  This is a bead set she received.  She looks very intent on choosing just the right ones.

We had a lovely Christmas.  I hope you did, too!

HAPPY 2006!

Internet Island Topic Post #4 is New Year's resolutions. This will be a very short post, because I never make New Year's resolutions.

It's not that I could not stand to improve myself, because, heaven knows, there is plenty of room for improvement. I just don't believe in setting myself up for failure. To choose one or more resolutions just because everyone says that is the thing to do would not inspire me to actually work at carrying out those resolutions. To be worth anything at all, a resolution must be something that takes work and must be carried out. Right now, the thing I care the most about carrying out is getting ready for winter quarter, which starts January 2. That would be a very short-lived resolution, though, because I will either be ready on January 2, or, on January 3, it will be too late!

There are resolutions that I probably should make. I should lose 20 pounds. I have been carrying those pounds around with me for at least 15 years now, though, and we are old friends. How could I possibly abandon an old friend? So I am sure the pounds will still be with me on January 1, 2007.

I really should cut down on my Diet Coke intake. Everyone needs a vice, though, right? And there are definitely worse vices than Diet Coke. I mean, I could do drugs, or I could rob banks. The Diet Coke helps me deal with stress and winter quarter is going to be very stressful, so I need it, right? Did I ever tell you that I am very, very good at rationalizing?

I could clean my house more often or organize all that stuff that is piled over in the corner - see it? Right over there? I have nowhere else to put it, though, and that corner would look pretty bare without it, so I guess I had better leave it alone.

Now that I think about it, things are really pretty good the way they are. I would not want to upset the balance of nature. That is a mistake, don't you think? Maybe I will just resolve not to make any resolutions again this year. That has always worked out pretty well for me in the past.

Socrates Cafe has offered speculation on Christ's view of allowing non-Christians to participate in the celebration of Christmas as one of the topics for this week. Considering that ecumenism is near and dear to my heart, I cannot help but share my views on this topic. I am also hosting the topic, so I hope I will see some lively discussion from the other participants. I promise to try to be objective when I visit sites and to attempt to keep my opinions contained here on my own blog.

One of the first things that must be considered when pondering what Jesus would do about the inclusion of non-Christians in the celebration of Christmas is the fact that Jesus was not a Christian. He was a practicing Jew. It is true that the Bible tells us that Jesus did name Peter as the "Rock upon whom I will build my Church", but the church itself was not started until after Jesus's death. Because it was started by humans, it is subject to human frailty and error, so it is likely that the church as it exists today is not precisely the church as Jesus intended. There is not even agreement about which church Jesus actually directed Peter to start. I am a Roman Catholic. The Catholic Church claims to be the church instituted by Christ, but other churches claim that also. All of that is a matter of doctrine and belief and probably cannot be resolved to everyone's satisfaction. In any case, if the origin and identity of the Christian religion cannot be satisfactorily defined, the determination of the position of that church on the participation of non-members becomes very hazy.

If we can't look to a church as the ultimate authority on this matter, where can we look? The Bible springs to mind as a possible source of enlightenment. Here again, though, there is a problem. The New Testament, which is the guide for Christian religions, was not written during Jesus's lifetime. In fact, parts of it were written considerably later. In its current form, the Bible does not contain all the books that were originally written. There are others that have been left out for various reasons. Some of those books present different views. Even the books that are included in what we know as the Bible contain some inconsistencies. The Bible was written by humans and the books which are now included were chosen by humans, so it is likely that the Bible is subject to human error and frailty the same as churches are.

There is also the matter of how the Bible is read and interpreted. Is the Bible an historic document? Are we to assume that everything in both the Old and New Testament happened exactly the way it is recorded in the Bible? Or is the Bible a symbolic representation of truths and principles written so that people of the time could understand them? And, how faithful are the translations of the Bible? Translating often changes meaning. The Bible was written in languages that contain words whose meanings vary greatly depending on context. Versions of the Bible vary in the way in which many words are translated. Which translation is correct? The Bible is also interpreted by religious leaders. Theologians can read the same passage and come up with very different opinions on the meaning. How do we know who is correct?

At best, all of these questions boil down to a matter of faith. Is it better to blindly accept the teaching of a particular religion, or is it better to read, study, listen, reflect, and arrive at our own beliefs? Whatever path we take, we do have some knowledge about Jesus which can be used for guidance because there are some events that occur in the writings of many of the Biblical writers and are generally accepted as fact.

As I said, Jesus was a practicing Jew. If we believe the accounts of His life in the Bible, we know that He practiced His religion for His whole life. He was circumcised in accordance with Jewish tradition. His first public teaching occurred in a temple. He observed the marriage customs of the Jewish religion at that time as seen in the account of the marriage at Cana. The Last Supper was a celebration of Passover.

We also know that Jesus rebelled against what He saw as the abuse of religion. He overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple. He performed miracles on the Sabbath. He healed the infirm, even though, at that time, infirmity was considered a punishment for sin. He spoke of the "Good Samaritan" even though the Samaritans were not accepted by members of His religion. He associated with persons considered to be unclean. He numbered sinners among His friends. He treated women as equal to men. Was Jesus exclusionist? It would not seem so.

Jesus traveled among the common people. He did not turn away anyone who wanted to approach Him. He did not ask their religion. He accepted many people who were not accepted by others of His faith. Do I think He would turn anyone away from the celebration of His birthday? No. Christian religions agree that Jesus charged His followers to go forth and spread His word to all nations. He did not tell them to associate only with others who believed as they did. Do you think that Jesus would be disappointed in the direction that Christianity has taken? Do you think that He actually intended His religion to be a departure from the Jewish faith? Is it possible that He was only trying to get people to rethink the practice of the Jewish faith in order to eliminate some of what He saw as perversions of that faith? Do we really know?

Are you ready for Christmas? I'm not. I still have a little cleaning to do, some baking, and some gifts to wrap. In an hour, we have to be at church to usher for Christmas Vigil Mass. Do you think I will make it?

My daughter decided that it would be a good idea for me to make stuffed animals for my grandchildren. I just finished the last one. Here they are under the tree.

They really are neat animals. The pink one is a rabbit and the other 2 are dogs. They are made of wonderfully soft, cuddly fabric and are stuffed with micro beads, so they are amazingly light. Have you ever worked with micro beads, though? They fly all over the place and stick to everything. They vacuum off easily, but you have to be sure that they are contained in one room and that everything in the room is thoroughly vacuumed before it leaves the room. I spilled some of the beads on the floor while I was stuffing the animals, and our cat Tigger came along and rolled in them, so he had to be confined to the room and vacuumed. Did you know that cats do not like to be vacuumed? In spite of holding him down and spending about 10 minutes trying to clean him, he still has a few micro beads clinging to his fur, I took this picture of him after I let him out of my sewing room. He looks like he is watching to see if I am coming to get him again, doesn't he?

Our other cat Hobbes does not get into such mischief. Of course, he is 16 years old, so walking to the food dish is a full day's work for him. He also likes to cuddle with Tigger, and, from the looks of this picture, he managed to pick up a few micro beads. They are a nice contrast to his black fur, don't you think?

Anyway, that's what's going on at my house today. If I don't get back to work, I don't have a prayer of getting everything done. I wish all of you a Merry Christmas or a wonderful holiday whatever it may be.

Peace on Earth!

Internet Island has invited its members to blog about their dream vacation. It's an interesting and challenging topic.

My husband and I love to travel. One of our favorite vacations is a nice relaxing cruise. Our dream, however, is different. In the fall of 1995, our son spent a semester at the University of London. My husband and I took our daughter and son-in-law over to spend Christmas with him. We had 10 days in bed and breakfasts in London and Edinburgh, Scotland. Ever since, we have talked about going over for the summer some year, renting a house, and inviting all of our friends and family to come and spend their vacations with us.

We would look for a place like this somewhere out in the countryside.
We would need a place that would sleep at least 10 people comfortably, because, of course, we would want our children and grandchildren to come over for a substantial part of the summer.

We would enjoy spending some relaxing days playing croquet in the yard or walking into a nearby village. I think that the pace of life would be a little slower and that would be very welcome!

Some evenings, we would have supper at a charming pub like this one, sitting for hours talking to the people of the area and learning about their lives. We would drink a pint or two as we chatted and there would be no hurry to get anywhere. When our friends from the US visited, we would introduce them to all of our new British friends and watch them try to understand the accent. (Many Americans are very bad at understanding foreign accents!)

We would eat bangers and mash or fish and chips, but probably not steak and kidney pie, while we enjoyed the tall tales of the locals. Perhaps there would be music, maybe even a chorus or two of Henry the Eighth, although we might have to supply that because I don't think Herman's Hermits version of that song was really popular in England.

Some days would be spent touring lovely old castles. My husband and my son are history buffs, so they would want to know all about the people who lived in the castle and the battles that were fought there. My daughter and I would probably dream about ancient knights on white horses and beautiful flowing gowns worn as we danced at a grand ball. We would never think about how drafty the castle would probably be in the winter or about the hardships of life in feudal times.

Other days would be spent exploring like this. We love to bike and I can't think of anything lovelier than a leisurely ride through the countryside to reach a wonderful village where we could browse the shops.

By the way, this isn't England, but it's a wonderful picture, don't you think? And, since European countries are much smaller than the US, we would probably make some trips to France or other nearby areas. Hopefully, they rent bicycles.

Neither of us can speak any language but English, but we have friends who can speak Spanish and French, so we might have to make some of these trips when they were visiting. I have always been a little afraid of traveling to places where I can't speak the language, which is one reason that the only European countries that we have visited have been England and Scotland. This lovely gentleman makes me want very much to see France, however.

Of course, we would make extensive use of this excellent system. Passenger trains in the US are not as well developed as they are in Europe, except possibly on the East Coast where there are many commuter trains. When we visited London, we made our trip to Scotland by train and enjoyed the experience immensely. We had seats that faced each other with a table between them and were able to sit and play cards as we watched the countryside. It was snowing that day and everything was white and beautiful. Since our dream trip would be in the summer, we would probably be seeing wild flowers and possibly some farm animals grazing peacefully.

Some of those train trips would involve dressing up and heading here. We actually saw this play at this theater when we were in London. As a matter of fact, we saw 3 or 4 plays. London theater is famous for good reason. It is absolutely wonderful! We would have to take advantage of it during our summer and it would be a favorite place to take our guests. When our family came over, we would have to babysit sometimes so our kids and their spouses could go.

We would need to attend some concerts, too. One place that we were not able to go when we were there before was the Palladium. We saw the outside, but were not able to see a concert there. Actually, I have always wanted to see Peter Noone perform there, which he does when he makes a British tour. That would be my ideal, but I would be happy to see just about anything so that I could say that I had been to that great hall.

That's my dream vacation. At least 3 months in a wonderful setting, surrounded by family and friends, but occasionally alone with my husband. When we returned home, we would be leaving new friends whom we would miss. Want to come along?

Would you want to live forever? The quick easy choice would be to say either yes or no, but the question is too complicated for an easy answer.

One point that needs consideration is whether or not I would be the only person who would be living forever. Studies have shown that one of the qualities which distinguishes people who live to very advanced age is the ability to adjust to change and to form new relationships as old ones are lost. I feel that I am relatively able to do that, but living forever while all my friends and family die does not appeal to me. Not only would the people I know and love now be gone, but that would happen to me repeatedly if I were living forever and everyone else was not. The prospect of continually replacing the relationships in my life is not a pleasant one.

Even if those who are near and dear to me were also living forever, there is still the issue of what that life would be like. Would we remain young and healthy, or would eternity consist of all the disabilities and frailties that accompany advanced age? Would it be a never-ending decline into infirmity? Would we live with Alzheimer's Disease? In that case, would we even know that we were alive? Would we care?

Perhaps living forever would mean that I was forever young. On the surface, that is very attractive. Again, though, if I were the only one experiencing eternal youth, I would be watching all of the people I care about grow old. As that happened, I would have less and less in common with them.  They would no longer be able to participate in or have an interest in the pastimes of youth.

If everyone were living forever and were permanently young, the world would become a very crowded place. There would be an urgent need for population control. Eventually, there would be so many people that reproduction would need to be curtailed and people would be denied the joys of raising families. Society would become an adults only group. The structure of communities would change drastically. Schools and other services for children would not be necessary. The types of jobs needed would be very different. So would the types of recreation. There would be no need for family entertainment and recreation.

Living forever would tend to cause a lack of motivation, since there would be an unlimited amount of time in which to accomplish goals. Procrastination would become a way of life. Values and priorities would change. Many things in life would have no importance without the restrictions of time. Productivity would decline dramatically. With an unlimited amount of time, there would be no need to get anything done promptly. A decline in quality of the goods produced would probably accompany the decline in productivity, since there would always be unlimited time to replace defective items.

In my mind, the disadvantages of living forever far outweigh the advantages. Even though I enjoy life and am not ready to depart it anytime soon, I cannot see any scenario in which living forever would not be fraught with problems, so my answer would have to be no, I do not want to live forever.

This is an entry for Socrates Cafe on"Topic #17: What is a 'soul' (eternal spirit)? Does one exist?". It's a difficult topic and one that cannot be proven, since each person's position on it relies heavily on faith, or at least on his/her basic premise about life.

I do believe that humans, and perhaps other creatures, have souls. My church teaches that the soul is what distinguishes humans from animals, but I am not sure that I accept that belief anymore. I am open to the idea that animals have souls also. I find that as I get older and think more deeply about certain topics, I do not blindly accept all teachings of my religion. I think that that is a good thing, a sign of maturity. A thinking person does not accept something without question just because an authority figure says that it is true.

So how did I arrive at my belief about the existence of the soul? First, I think it is important to define what I mean by "soul." My definition may or may not be the same as someone else's.

The soul is who a person is. It is not the brain, emotions, or "heart." I do not believe that a person can experience his/her soul consciously, or at least most of us can't, but I do believe that we experience it unconsciously and that it determines many things about our lives. The soul is not physical. It is the spark that gives the individual life. Some would argue that it is the biochemical processes of our bodies that give us life, and that when those end, life ends. I do not think it is that simple. As an RN, I have seen many people die. To me, the change that occurs at death is very profound and is much more than the simple stopping of chemical processes. I always feel that when someone dies, there is very clearly something that is not there that was there at the moment before death. I experience this change very clearly as something that leaves. That may be based on my religious education, but I don't feel that it is. I think that it comes from empiric observation. Many years ago, I read a piece of research that attempted to prove that the soul actually leaves the body at death by placing dying people on bed scales so that they were weighed immediately before and immediately after death. They found a small but significant weight difference. After death, the body weighed slightly less. The difference could not be accounted for by simple loss of bodily fluids as sphincters relaxed, because all fluids lost were still on the scale. I am not sure that that research really proved anything, but it was interesting.

Many researchers have studied near death experiences in an effort to prove or disprove survival of the soul. Elizabeth Kubler Ross is probably the best known. Raymond Moody is another well known near death researcher. One of the things that I find most interesting about near death experience research is that some researchers enter the field to prove that death is the permanent end of life and end up being convinced that it is not. Still, they cannot prove that it is not because it is not possible to interview a person who has experienced irreversible cessation of vital functions. So, it is still a matter of faith and subject to acceptance or rejection.

Since science cannot prove or disprove the existence of the soul, why do I believe that it exists? My life experience tells me that it does. I can report several experiences that have helped me to reach that conclusion.

When I was a child, our household consisted of my mother, her parents, and myself. My mother was 39 when I was born, and her parents were not young when she was born, so by the time I came along, my grandparents were very elderly. My grandfather died when I was 6 years old and he was 87. He died during the night in our home. I was asleep when he died, but my mother and her sisters were with him. Over the years following his death, I heard them tell this story many times.

My grandfather was blind and had been blind for many years. His corneas were scarred and had become quite opaque, causing his eye color to be difficult to determine. As my mother and her sisters were sitting at his bedside, he began to be interested in something in the far end of the room. He wanted my mom and her sisters to look at it. My mom did not. She remained focused on his face. All of a sudden, my grandfather turned to her and said. "I told you to look there!" My grandfather was able to see that my mother was not doing as she was told. My mom always said that at that point, his eye color returned to the beautiful blue that it had been in his youth. Soon after that, he closed his eyes and died quietly.

Many years later, after I was married, my mom sold our home and moved to New Jersey to keep house for her brother, who was also alone. She lived out there until 1983, when my uncle died. During his final illness, he had a cardiac arrest and was resuscitated. He was alert and oriented after the resuscitation. He told my mom that he had seen deceased family members and that he had been told that he was not going to survive the illness. He also told her that she was not going to live much longer. He died within 24 hours. My mom lived another 2 years.

When I was born in 1948, my mom was a 39 year old unmarried mother. In 1948, that was quite scandalous. She decided to keep me and raise me, but she told everyone, including her family, that I was adopted, and, indeed, she did go through the process of legally adopting me. She never recanted that story to anyone. By the time she died, I had come to the conclusion that I had to be from my family because of a series of similarities that were too numerous to be coincidence. I spent a good amount of time speculating on exactly where in the family I originated, but I did not consider that I could be my mother's biological child. Several years after her death, my husband and I made a trip to Jamaica with our family and some friends. During that trip, my passport disappeared. A few years after that, I needed a passport again, so I tried to apply for a new one. My application was rejected because my birth certificate was issued at the time my adoption became final when I was 4 years old. Now, I had been able to get my original passport with that birth certificate, but, this time, I was told that I would have to produce my adoption papers. I did not think that was a problem, because I had them at home. When I went to get them, though, they were nowhere to be found, in spite of the fact that we are very careful about keeping such documents filed. After searching with no success, we contacted the State of Nebraska, where my adoption took place, to get another copy.

When I requested my adoption papers, I was told that adoption records are now open in Nebraska and that I could have my whole record if I wanted it, so I asked to have it sent. When it arrived, I received the document my mother signed to surrender her parental rights. With it was the final decree of adoption. They were dated on the same day. She went through a 4 year process of court appearances and social worker visits to finally sit there and sign away her rights to me so that she could go through the legal process of adoption, all so nobody would know that I was illegitimate. When I held those documents in my hands, I had an eerie sense of my mom saying, "Darn! I should have told Nancy the truth when I was alive! Now, I have to find a way to tell her!" After I received my records from the State of Nebraska, I found not one, but three copies of my adoption papers in my house, all in places that had been searched previously.

My mother did not name my father on any of the documents that I have received, so I do not know who he was. I suspect that my birth certificate, which was issued at the time my adoption became final and says that I was born in Missouri, is not accurate, because my baptismal record, which was issued 1 month after I was born, says that I was born in New York State. My birth certificate has now disappeared and I need to try to get another copy. I am wondering what I will find out when I do.

To me, these experiences mean that there is something that survives after what we call death.  I realize that not everyone would interpret them that way.  That is why this is a matter of faith.  It is something that cannot be proven.

Do you believe that we have souls?  If you do, what is your evidence for that belief?

Colin is continuing his Socrates Cafe discussion on the nature of torture and would appreciate it if members would stop by to comment and respond to each other. He isn't able to check his site every day right now, so he would like us to continue the discussion on our own.

Sunday after church, we went up to our son's house. The plan had been to eat and watch the football game, Dan and Andy were going to put up Andy's outdoor Christmas lights, then we were going to take Jake to see Santa and go to the Holidazzle. Plans changed because Jess wasn't feeling well, Jake wouldn't nap, and it was very cold, so we decided to postpone the Holidazzle and the Christmas lights. We ate, watched the Vikings game, and then Dan, Andy, and I took Jake shopping so that Jess could rest.

This mall is not far from Andy and Jess's house. In the background, you can see a great play area for kids. There are lots of semi-soft formed plastic structures for them to climb. For that reason, the kids refer to it as the "Squishy Mall." Outside the play area, there is a line of these machines that will move if you put in a couple of quarters. Jake chose this one because he is into construction machines. All the pictures get a little bigger if you click on them.

Then, we did take Jake to see Santa. Jake, being 2, did not completely understand the process. He thought Santa would give him presents when he saw him. He did not understand that he was supposed to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas. Fortunately, Jake can communicate quite well, so after we left Santa, Jake voiced his confusion to Andy. Andy took him back to yell his desires to Santa from beyond the wall encircling Santa's area. Jake looked cute on Santa's lap, didn't he?

We had supper out and then headed back to Andy's. We made some detours to look at Christmas lights on the way. I took some night pictures without a tripod, so they are not as good as they might be. Every inch of this house's corner lot was covered with lights. Many of them are not very bright, so they do not show up well in the picture, but it was overwhelming. Andy said that they had taken Jake to see this house earlier. Jess asked Jake what he saw. Jake stared at the huge display for a couple of minutes and turned to Jess, saying, "I don't know, Mommy. What do you see?"

This house had fewer lights that were arranged quite artfully. Note the Santa and Mrs. Claus climbing in the upstairs window. I guess they don't have a chimney! I think this house would make a pretty Christmas card.

When we got beck to Andy's, we stopped in for a minute to see if Jess was feeling better and had enjoyed her rest, then we headed home. I decided to take a picture of our lights as we approached the house.

It has been snowing very gently but almost continually here for a couple of days and the trees have been quite lovely. On the way to Andy's, we passed several groves of trees out in the country that were very beautiful, but Dan did not want to stop for photos. I shot this picture of our neighbor's evergreen as we were pulling into our garage. It's not bad for a night photo without a tripod.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!