December 18, 2002

• Bill sent me this, and I have to say I think it has to be true!
  
  SANTA IS A WOMAN!!!!
  
  I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe Santa’s a she.
  
  Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
  
  For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I’m convinced Santa is a woman.
  
  Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
  
  Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen’s rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
  
  Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he’d still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
  
  Other reasons why Santa can’t possibly be a man:
  * Men can’t pack a bag.
  * Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
  * Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
  * Men don’t answer their mail.
  * Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.”
  * Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
  * Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
  * Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
  
  I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men:
  * Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.
  * Cupid flies around exposing himself and carrying weapons.
  * Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.
  
  Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not Santa – not a chance.
  __________________________________________
  
  Thanks to all who stopped by at the party. I’m sorry I could not be here, but it looks like GlowWorm and AbbyNormal did their best to entertain and make everyone feel at home.
  
  Here are the answers to the Music Quizes for those who tried them:
  
  

  Christmas Music Trivia

  
  

  The answers are Christmas songs or songs that were hits at Christmas time.

  
  

  1.  Who wrote White Christmas?  Irving Berlin

  
  

  2.  White Christmas was introduced in this movie – Holiday Inn

  
  

  3.  Who was first to the microphone on the original 1984 Band Aid Christmas hit “Do They Know It’s Christmas?’  Paul Young

  
  

  4.  Which favorite Christmas song connects the following artists – The Crystals/ Bruce Springsteen/ The Jackson 5/ Frank Sinatra/ Bing Crosby/ The Four Seasons/ The Carpenters/ and others?  Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

  
  

  5.  Which Christmas song was recorded by both Bing Crosby and Peter Noone?  Do You Hear What I Hear

  
  

  6.  What was the first Beatles hit to occupy the UK Christmas number 1 position in 1963?  I Want to Hold Your Hand

  
  

  7.  Which Christmas hit was also the first UK number one song of the 1970′s?  Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris

  
  

  8.  This recording has been the UK Christmas number 1 song in 2 separate decades 16 years apart.  Bohemian Rapsody by Queen

  
  

  9.  Name the Eartha Kitt Christmas hit that was covered by Madonna.  Santa Baby

  
  

  10.  Who recorded the original hit recording of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?  Gene Autry

  
  

  Rock Era Trivia

  
  

  1.  Who had the last number one song of the 1950′s?  Frankie Avalon

  
  

  2.  The Chipmunk Song was number one during the week of December 15.  What was the year?  1958

  
  

  3.  Who recorded the 1964 hit “She’s Not There”?  The Zombies

  
  

  4.  George Harrison’s solo hit “My Sweet Lord” reached number 1 the week of December 15 in this year.  1970

  
  

  5.  Who recorded the 1979 hit “Babe”?  Styx

  
  

  6.  Who had more consecutive number one hits than any other artist or group in the history of rock and roll?  Whitney Houston

  
  

  7.  How many number one hits did Bruce Springsteen have?  None

  
  

  8.  Which Beatles song was number one for the longest period of time?  Hey Jude

  
  

  9.  Who wrote Whitney Houston’s 1992 hit “I Will Always Love You”?  Dolly Parton

  
  

  10.  What was the first rap song to reach number 1?  Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

  
  

  11.  What was the only song of the rock era to reach number 1 twice?  The Twist by Chubby Checker

  
  

  12.  Who was the lead singer of the Jeff Black Group?  Rod Stewart

  
  

  13.  Who recorded the song “Enter Sandman”?  Metallica

  
  

  14.  What artist made his big screen acting debut playing the bellboy in the 1979 folm version of the Who’s Quadrophenia?  Sting

  
  

  Classical Music Trivia

  
  

  1.  Who wrote only 4 symphonies but was considered a titan of song? Johannes Brahms

  
  

  2.  Who was supported most of his career by a wealthy female patron he never met? Peter Tchaikovsky

  
  

  3.  Who had a stormy relationship with an accomplished author but remained a bachelor during his short life? Frederic Chopin

  
  

  4.  Whose charming tale of a fearless young boy cleverly outsmarting a dangerous animal has become a favorite of children everywhere? Sergi Prokofiev

  
  

  5.  Who had a symbiotic relationship with his compser-sister and died a few weeks after she died? Felix Mendlessohn

  
  

  6.  Who once bested Johann Strauss, Jr., in a waltz contest but is known today for his “infernal” can-can? Jacques Offenbach

  
  

  7.  Whose popularity increased with American movie goers after the movie “10″? Maurice Ravel

  
  

  8.  What violin virtuoso was considered to be as great with the violin as Franz Liszt was with the piano?  He was also considered to be quite a ladies’ man. Nicolo Paganini

  
  

  9.  Which composer taught in a school for girls? Antonio Vivaldi

  
  

  10.  Who married his cousin Nina and became Norway’s most celebrated composer? Edvard Grieg

  • 9:42 am
  • 14 Comments