February 1, 2004
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He was 84. Crotchety would be an apt description. Gregarious is also a good fit. And funny. He served in World War II and was proud of it. He raised nine children on a teacher’s salary, so frugality was the benchmark of his financial practices. He was a forceful man in his younger days, but feeble would have fit better in the last couple of years. Faith was central to his life, as was family. His now adult children called him stern. We went to his funeral on Saturday.
It was a lovely service. The VFW was there, looking very sharp in matching suits, shirts, ties and overcoats. They marched in slowly two at a time and saluted the casket before taking their seats in the first two pews. They were followed by the Knights of Columbus. Beautiful music was supplied by his daughter-in-law, who really has a professional quality voice, one of the other soloists from our choir, and the organist. Father Jerry gave a wonderful sermon highlighting details of his life and personality. One of his sons gave a beautiful eulogy in which he said that one of his dad’s wishes was to know that he had left a mark on the world. I think he can be sure that he did leave that mark because he produced a family that could plan and execute such a lovely service in his tribute. What better legacy could anyone want?
The church was about 2/3 full. Of course, when you produce nine children who marry and have children who grow up and marry and have chilren, and then you throw in the VFW and the KC’s, that about accounts for the numbers. There were not many others there. Most of the non-family members were elderly women from our church. That’s what happens when you are 84 and have moved away from the community. You have no professional colleagues anymore. Many of your friends have died and you have not made new connections in the community because you haven’t been living there. Your funeral is populated by elderly women who attend the church service and then serve the lunch afterwards.
It was bitterly cold, so much of the graveside service took place in the church. We did not go out to the cemetery or to the lunch that followed in the church hall. I am glad we went to the funeral Mass, though. I talked to an elderly couple who had come from out of town and did not seem to know anyone. The husband had been a college classmate of the deceased and had come to say good-bye to an old friend. He and his wife needed someone with whom to share their memories, and they chose me, a stranger, because there was no one else. I was happy to talk to them.
It was a touching service. It gave me much on which to reflect.
Comments (9)
It sounds like he had a very full life .
Beautiful words.
Nicely written.
One of my older brother in laws died last week. He was a famous boat builder and raconteur. He had 12 children. Most of the island was at the funeral… He had a good life too.
That sad beautiful occasion would have provided me with at least one poem, if that does not sound heartless.
Oh, my dear girl, I hope someone like you is at my funeral for this could have been me. Bless you for lending a listening ear to the older couple!! At our age when one of us dies we that remain face our mortality…some with dread.
Indeed you showed your Christian spirit. The sad part as we grow older is the funerals seem to outnumber the weddings don’t they?
I doubt 2/3 will be at my funeral. We have no family here. Most of our church members are older than I it seems. Well for the first service any way. I don’t know many from second service.
sorry about the sad news.
I always feel that the world has lost something precious when we lose someone from that generation.
It sounded like he had a very full life – I agree – what more could one ask for?
Missed you this weekend – hope you are doing well.
Take care.